Review
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"Author Christy Wopat's book has all of the
ingredients - humor, raw honesty, detail, and illuminating
metaphor - to make it an engaging read. She transformed the
horrendously horrible reality of having delivered twins (Sophie
and Aiden) who both died within hours of birth into this gift for
her readers. It is part memoir and part morality tale. It offers
a reality check ("I am not crazy" or "I am crazy and that's ok")
and catharsis to those with similar experiences and advice to
those of us wondering how best to help them. It is rife with
ins regarding grief, parenting, friendship, love, and
identity."
- Dr. Ed de St. Aubin, Professor at Marquette University
"Almost a Mother speaks directly to the heart of all parents who
have lost a baby. The raw experiences and emotions she shares are
so relatable and heartwarming in the sense that you know you are
not alone in your suffering and grief. Her strength in sharing
her story will help other bereaved parents in their journey
towards peace and hope."
- Rachel Redhouse, Director of Empty Cradle
"Pull up a comfy chair and a cup of tea, Christy Wopat's book is
like a great conversation with a good friend. If you've had a
stillbirth or early neonatal loss, you'll spend the whole time
nodding in agreement. If you haven't, you'll be taken on an
emotional journey through the resiliency of love. A mother's love
is like no other, even when there's no one to 'mother.'"
- Amanda Ross-White, author of Joy at the End of the Rainbow,
Still Standing contributor
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From the Author
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Dear Reader,
If you are reading this, there's a likelihood that you or someone
close to you has just lost a baby. First, please know that there
are no real words for the pain that you are feeling. This grief
is like no other, and your grief is like no other.
I wrote this book because after my infant twins died, I couldn't
find anything on the shelves at the bookstore that was actually
honest. I found books about grief, sure. Books written by
psychologists on the stages of grief and books that assured me
that I would find my answers in prayer. This isn't meant to
replace those. Those books are necessary, but in the raw,
emotional weeks and months after losing my twins, what I wanted
to know more than anything was that I was not crazy.
I wanted to know that the thoughts and feelings I was having
didn't mean that I was the crazy lady on the made-for-tv movie
who lost a baby and then went around stabbing people. I needed to
know that I was not alone.
I wanted to know that my rage against the pregnant lady checking
out at the grocery store didn't mean that I was suddenly a
terrible person. That I was going to be okay.
In the pages of this book, you may disagree with thoughts or
feelings that I have about grief. I tried very hard to make it
known that in no way do I think that my thoughts are the only
"right" ones. On the contrary--I know that everyone has their own
journey. I just need to share mine in the hopes that someone can
connect and maybe find some peace.
What I hope more than anything is that you find some solace in
knowing that you are not alone. That the hard work you are up
against will be worth it. That some day the edges of the pain
will eventually dull and, with any luck, the memories will turn
into loving thoughts about the precious babies we lost.
I'm not going to lie--it might be a while. In the meantime, hang
in there. Find your people and lean on them. You've got this.
All my love,
Christy Wopat
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