From the Author
---------------
Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die
before you as well. He was born in a small town where the
inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near
the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was
living somewhere else. A studied expert in rhetorical analysis,
Mr Snicket has spent the last several eras researching the
travails of the Baudelaire orphans.
Lemony Snicket published his first book in 1999 and has not had a
good night's since. Mr Snicket is the author of quite a few
books, all dreadful, and has been falsely accused of many crimes,
all falsely. Once the recipient of several distinguished rewards,
he is now an escapee of several indistinguishable prisons.
He is widely regarded as one of the most difficult children's
authors to capture and imprison. There are thirteen books in the
A Series of Unfortunate Events, which should be avoided at all
costs. Until recently, he was presumed to be 'presumed dead'.
Instead, this 'presumed' presumption wasn't disproved not to be
incorrect. Most things written about him are not true, but this
is.
About the Author
----------------
Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die
before you as well. He was born in a small town where the
inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near
the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was
living somewhere else. Mr Snicket first received his education
from public schools and private tutors, and then vice versa.
Early in life, he learned to reupholster furniture, a skill that
turned out to be far more important than anyone imagined. He has
been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant
fraud and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions. A
studied expert in rhetorical analysis, Mr Snicket has spent the
last several eras researching the travails of the Baudelaire
orphans. During his spare time, he gathers evidence and is
considered something of an expert by leading authorities.
Recently, he had to give up his hobbies due to laws regarding
musical performances in ainous terrain. Lemony Snicket
published his first book in 1999 and has not had a good night's
since. Mr Snicket is the author of quite a few books, all
dreadful, and has been falsely accused of many crimes, all
falsely. Once the recipient of several distinguished rewards, he
is now an escapee of several indistinguishable prisons. He is
widely regarded as one of the most difficult children's authors
to capture and imprison. There are thirteen books in the A Series
of Unfortunate Events, which should be avoided at all costs. To
his horror and dismay, he has no wife or children, only enemies,
associates, and the occasional loyal manservant. Lemony Snicket's
extended family, if they were alive, would describe him as a
distinguished scholar, an amateur connoisseur, and an outright
gentleman. Unfortunately this description has been challenged of
late, but Egmont Press continues to support his research and
writing on the lives of the Baudelaire orphans. As he continues
with his investigation, interest in the Baudelaire case has
increased. So has his horror. Until recently, he was presumed to
be 'presumed dead'. Instead, this 'presumed' presumption wasn't
disproved not to be incorrect. Most things written about him are
not true, but this is. More miserable news about Mr Snicket and
his dreadful books can be found at www.unfortunateevents.com.